She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
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