dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
Randomize
