Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
just found out that she named her cat after me.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize
