Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
