Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Randomize
