Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
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