Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
Its about making memories worth repressing
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Randomize
