I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Randomize
