It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
