good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
Randomize
