Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
Randomize
