my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize