wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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