i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
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Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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