i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
Randomize
