I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
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I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Randomize