I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
