OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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