How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
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