I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
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