I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
This is classic penis vs brain.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
