he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
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