i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
Barsexuality is the new black.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
There r osticjed everywhere
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize
