3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
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