worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
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