Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
