I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
Randomize
