Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
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