How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
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