A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Another day, another engagement, another cat
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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