Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
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