i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
