Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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