he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
