who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize
