I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
Randomize
