do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
