but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
Randomize
