I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
The ass gains better be worth it
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