i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
