Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
