Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
