Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Randomize
