hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Randomize
