Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Randomize