don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
