My girlfriend figured out who you are.
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
Randomize