hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
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