i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Randomize
