he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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