I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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