On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Randomize
