I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
i can't believe i had my finger in that
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
Randomize
