I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
Drunk walkin through police station. America
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.