If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
